What happens when a gynophobic gay man watches a straight man’s documentary about a lesbian couple?


Alex Hughes, of The Homo Life:

I’ve been scared of vaginas for as long as I can remember. Even when I didn’t know I was gay in my younger years, the snatch never served as a mysterious place of excitement. And then along came Brett and Melanie: Boi Meets Girl, a new documentary about a butch/femme lesbian couple that’s 52 minutes long–half on a couch as they discuss their relationship’s dynamic, and half in the bedroom, Hello Kitty vibrator and all.

Up until I watched Brett and Melanie, the longest I had ever looked at a vagina was when I did a Google search in high school to face my fear and almost puked all over my screen. I’ve never found the appeal of women’s nether regions and I’ve always said that being scared of vaginas is okay since I’m gay! It wasn’t a big deal that I didn’t find out until senior year in math class that the clitoris was outside of the vagina or that the actual vagina is only a small part of what is called the vagina (forgive me if I’m wrong about any and/or all of these statements, because I probably am).

I went about my life avoiding vagina and only catching small painful glimpses of kookas as ads for “Celeste’s Horny Cam Girls” popped up as I tried to watch gay porn.

While I wasn’t exactly thrilled about the prospect of seeing vaginas up close and personal on my screen, I was excited to hear about the two women’s personal lives and in and out of the bedroom. Their frank talk about meeting at a strip club and later again online, and the explanation of their top/bottom boi dynamic are just as engrossing as their lovemaking that feels intimate and sensual rather than overtly pornographic.

Melanie, the blonde femme is actually the “top daddy,” and Brett, the butch who fucks while wearing a strap on and wifebeater is the “bottom boi,” throwing an extra kink into the already surprising and nontraditional relationship.

Their on-screen revelations are refreshing, honest, and raw and aren’t a tragic tale about the problem of being gay that most LGBT film and literature harp on. Brett and Melanie shows a real lesbian love story that many of us have never had the opportunity to see.

Conversely, what happens when a femme lesbian watches the same movie? Sasha, of CardCarryingLesbian.com:

Last night Remi and I popped Brett and Melanie: Boi Meets Girl into the DVD player. We weren’t sure what we were about to watch. We knew it was an indie film, documentary style and that it was about a butch/femme relationship. What’s there not to like?

It opens with Brett and Melanie telling the viewers about their relationship. It’s clear early on that they’re both intelligent , well spoken people. Their story about their own self-realization process and finding their places within the butch/femme world was something I could relate to. I think a lot of femmes can relate to Melanie’s story. Brett’s story was also one that I think a lot of other butches might see similarities in. We were surprised to find out what roles each played in the bedroom. It wasn’t what we were expecting but it was very interesting. You’ll just have to watch it for yourself to see what I’m talking about.

The movie is all about this couple’s relationship and how it evolved from a purely sexual top/bottom relationship to something deep and meaningful. It is interspersed throughout the interview with clips of the couple making love. That was a bit distracting at first, I’ll be honest. But towards the end, there is a very explicit video of the couple in their most intimate moments. Because we knew they were a real couple, it almost made it uncomfortable to watch at times. I felt like a voyeur …. not that that’s a bad thing!

Overall, I think the film is worth watching and the erotic part of the video was very brave on the part of the couple. Hopefully this video will help some people feel not so isolated or alone in their identities within the butch/femme spectrum and help to open some minds to the complex layers that exist within it.

This is the space where I would say something that would make this post something more than simple self-promotion, but I have nothing to say. If you are offended at my using my “Front Page” status this way, perhaps you’ll be comforted to know that these reviews might mean an extra hundred dollars in our family budget this month, which means maybe I’ll take my wife out on a date for Valentines this year, which seems appropriate, given the subject matter of the films!

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8 thoughts on “What happens when a gynophobic gay man watches a straight man’s documentary about a lesbian couple?

  1. I have no problem with this type of self-promotion*. Congrats, David, on the good reviews.

    (*In fact, I prefer the honesty of this self-promotion to trying to cover it up with some other message. You done good, enjoy it!)


  2. My thoughts are the same as Jonathan and Nob above; congrats on the positive ink.

    As for the FP issue, FWIW my personal opinion is this: Not only do I support David’s self promotion here, but if any of the other League contributors find that they have had positive reviews by both a gynophobic gay man and a femme lesbian for their erotic lesbian documentary, this goes for them as well. I will not play favorites.


  3. What they said.

    (Although the word nerd in me feels the need to point out that gynophobia is “fear of women” and eurotophobia is “fear of vaginas”. So, the first reviewer sounds more eurotophobic than gynophobic to me.)


  4. Thank you all for your kind words. In addition to being a troll for sympathy, the last graph was a passive-aggressive coded message to a friend at the brink of a big decision who could use a little encouragement. I see that the message was received. ;-)

    I feel like I already have, but if I have not, the time may now be ripe for telling the story of the time the room full of 200 gay black and latino women found out the film they had just watched, an intimate, tender, and explicit film about two young black women was, in fact, directed by a middle-aged, straight, white man.

    It was awkward to say the least.


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