First Of All, Matt, That’s Not An Egg McMuffin…

Burt Likko

Pseudonymous Portlander. Pursuer of happiness. Bon vivant. Homebrewer. Atheist. Recovering Republican. Recovering Catholic. Recovering divorcé. Editor-in-Chief Emeritus of Ordinary Times. Relapsed Lawyer, admitted to practice law (under his real name) in California and Oregon. There's a Twitter account at @burtlikko, but not used for posting on the general feed anymore. House Likko's Words: Scite Verum. Colite Iusticia. Vivere Con Gaudium.

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57 Responses

  1. Oscar Gordon says:

    Yeah, I owe a good chunk of my LDL number to those damned sandwiches…Report

  2. aaron david says:

    Forget it Burt, its Voxtown…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cWnubJ9CEwReport

  3. Kolohe says:

    This isn’t the first time McD’s has been in trouble, and it won’t be the last. It’s not like Radio Shack or Blockbuster which found their business models untenable, it’s just not executing. (and a lot of that is the, um, ‘quirky’ relationship it has between the actual company and the franchisees)Report

  4. Will Truman says:

    Jack in the Box figured this out a long time ago. C’mon, McDonald’s, get a move on.Report

  5. Michael Drew says:

    The picture is indeed not of an Egg McMuffin, but I bet if an Egg McMuffin is what Matt’s fingers write, then that’s what his voice orders, and that’s what his mouth eats. Which would be the correct choice, since it’s the vastly superior sandwich.Report

    • The egg mcmuffin is no better than the fourth best McDonald’s breakfast sandwich.Report

      • Michael Drew in reply to Will Truman says:

        I haven’t had all that any, but I’ve had E. McM. and S. McM. w E, and I prefer the experience of the former greatly. Then, taking on Burt’s concerns a bit:

        S. McM. w E: 370 cal.; 23 g. fat

        E. McM. : 300 cal.; 13 g. fat.

        You only have to give back 19% of the calories in order to cut the fat by 43%!Report

      • Burt Likko in reply to Will Truman says:

        The sausage variant tastes at least three times as good as the original.

        It’s algebra:

        10(f) + 70(c) = 3(h) + 100%(i)

        where:

        f = additional grams of fat
        c = additional calories
        h = hedonic value of egg-and-meat sandwich
        i = Burt’s weight loss effortsReport

      • Not big on their ham. It’s a close race between the sausage mcmuffin and the bacon egg and cheese biscuit sandwich. I give the latter the edge. If the mcbagels are included the steak mcbagel is next. Then the sausage biscuit. Then bacon eggs and cheese mcbagel. Then the egg mcmuffin.Report

      • I’d put the burrito in there at third or fourth, if we were counting that.Report

      • Michael Drew in reply to Will Truman says:

        Well, one thing I do know: none of this is subjective. There’s a right answer, we just have to find it.Report

      • Burt Likko in reply to Will Truman says:

        Sausage McMuffin with Egg is the pinnacle of all breakfast sandwiches. It is the summit. From there, further ascent is impossible; the universe of possible fast food breakfast sandwiches exceeding the Sausage McMuffin with Egg is a null set.

        The next-best option for fast food breakfast sandwiches is the Chick-fil-A chicken biscuit. Not always easy to get here in California.Report

      • Michael Drew in reply to Will Truman says:

        I usually like ham better in most contexts (except of course for those times when bacon is flat-out necessary for life). But here’s a sacrilege: I hate most of Starbuck’s food, but their breakfast sammys are pretty stellar. The Bacon & Gouda is quite good.Report

      • If you’re ever in the south, check if where your going has a Whataburger. Great sausage biscuit sandwich, and an equally good breakfast burrito.Report

      • Glyph in reply to Will Truman says:

        Why on earth would you get sausage and egg on the McMuffin, when you can get it on the biscuit? It just don’t make no sense.Report

    • Michael Drew in reply to Michael Drew says:

      …Actually here’s what he reports: “The basic state of the McDonald’s menu is this: it has the best breakfast sandwiches in the world (egg McMuffin or egg McMuffin with sausage, depending on your mood), while the hamburgers are not the best in the world.” So it sounds like it depends on the day for him.

      Also I don’t see where he says what’s pictured is an Egg McMuffin; the picture appears under a section heading that reads “Egg McMuffins are delicious,” which section praises both sandwiches per above. So he calls it an “egg McMuffin with sausage” rather than “Sausage McMuffin with Egg,” like probably 78% of people who order it do. Horror!Report

  6. Damon says:

    Frankly, I don’t like either of them. Here’s what I like:

    Toasted English muffin
    Slice of canadian bacon
    Cheese on top of the canadain bacon..so it melts a bit
    Over easy egg on top.
    Fork and knife egg so yolk runs into muffin and provides sopping material for muffin top (see below)

    The top of egg muffin with butter as a separate item, like toast.

    Enjoy.Report

  7. Chris says:

    I live in the home of breakfast tacos, of migas tacos, for Christ’s sake! Why would I ever go to McDonald’s for breakfast?Report

  8. Kazzy says:

    It’s like y’all can’t get a sausage-egg-and-cheese on a bagel.

    McMuffins are dryer than baby powder.Report

  9. Kazzy says:

    A Thomas’s English muffin toasted with butter is a treat. But otherwise, the EM is a waste.

    At my bachelor party in New Orleans, one brunch spot had eggs benedict and for a few bucks more, you could have crabcakes benedict, where a crabcake replaced the EM. We all ordered the latter. Well, save for one guy. He was shunned the rest of the trip.

    Who says “Crapcake or EM? Bring me the muffin!”Report

  10. Mike Dwyer says:

    This is one of those posts that I realize are completely subjective, however I cannot let this stand. While I like a McMuffin sandwich just as much as the next guy, calling it the top of the mountain makes me wonder if dear Burt has ever had breakfast below the Mason Dixon line.

    English muffins strike me as something that excels less as a sandwich and much more as the base for an open-faced breakfast. In Alaska, for example, I had Eggs Benedict every morning with smoked salmon on top. I still think about those meals even though they were a decade ago.

    Breakfast burritos, the kinds you get in Sante Fe with green and red chilies, or the kind they serve in foo-foo restaurants in nice neighborhoods with all sorts of exotic ingredients…those are also sublime. Top of the mountain though? Pish posh.

    Nothing…I repeat, NOTHING…beats a biscuit. When I was a kid you could order a country ham biscuit at McDonalds and since I waited for the morning bus in the lobby of a McD’s, I blame approx. 1/5 of my post-high school weight gain on them. Nowadays? If I’m near the farm I can stop at my favorite gas station, the true Southern kind of station with a deli inside, and order the same thing. Big, fluffy buttermilk biscuits with a nice slice of Finchville ham. No garnishments needed. If we’re talking fast food though, my money will always be on Hardee’s (Carl’s Jr on the west coast). They make their biscuits from scratch every morning and have all kinds of delicious items you can get on them. Sausage, country ham, chicken-fried steak, or in certain areas the famous fried bologna and Velveeta.

    As for the potential menu change at McDonald’s… I’m indifferent about it. I do think their double cheeseburger is fantastic and I even enjoy think the snack wrap can be good on occasion, but when they took the Southern chicken sandwich off the menu it totally bummed me out. I would be fine with an all-day breakfast but I can only assume that would still include the option of fries…because those? I would defend them to the end.Report

    • Burt Likko in reply to Mike Dwyer says:

      Knoxville, 2+ years. Plenty o breakfast. Hardee’s sausage egg & cheese biscuits. Yum. Chick fil A chicken biscuits. Double yum.

      Recall that I defined the mountain as fast food. y’all are talking about crab cakes and gourmet hams and smoked salmon and stuff. Not likely to find that at the drive thru.if we’re going to be talking about breakfasts that include stuff you make it home or get at one of them fancy all you can drink the champagne branch, yeah you can do better than a sausage McMuffin with egg.

      I hear what you’re saying about biscuits, too. Carl’s Jr/Hardee’s does the biscuits up right, you’re darn tootin about that. Gets all over your suit as you’re trying to drive to the deposition. I read a McMuffin being dry? That’s to pick up all of the runny yolk from the inside. It isn’t dry then, and it has all kinds of flavor.

      Nor am I saying sausage McMuffin with egg or nothing else. That’s not a hill I want to die on. I’m just saying it’s the best. Given a choice between that and other fast food breakfast sandwiches, the sausage McMuffin with egg will be my choice.Report

      • Mike Dwyer in reply to Burt Likko says:

        @burt-likko

        I mentioned Eggs Benedict because I just do not find an English muffin to be on par with a biscuit when it comes to making a sandwich out of it. To me, even the best English muffins can be a little dry, hence why it does so well with a good Hollandaise sauce on top. A good biscuit should still be moist on the inside. That’s why I find them superior as a fast-food breakfast.Report

    • Don Zeko in reply to Mike Dwyer says:

      Mike, have you been to Aunt Bea’s?Report

      • Mike Dwyer in reply to Don Zeko says:

        @don-zeko

        I have never been to Aunt Bea’s. Where is that?Report

      • Don Zeko in reply to Don Zeko says:

        @mike-dwyer It’s a small chain that sells a mix of classic fast food fare and southern traditional dishes. I’ve only ever seen them up in the mountains in Virginia. The breakfast biscuits with country ham, eggs, and cheese are my go-to, but there’s plenty of good stuff on there. When I was in high school my family built a little farmhouse up in rural southwest Virginia, and during construction we would camp out on site and drive five miles to the nearest town to eat at Aunt Bea’s. We’d still be wearing our filthy work clothes and my dad would still have on his knee pads, so I have a lot of sympathy for the staff and the other diners, but man did that hit the spot. You should look for one if you find yourself around there.Report

    • Kim in reply to Mike Dwyer says:

      For breakfast? I want pie.Report

  11. Murali says:

    McDonald’s pancakes are also pretty good. Dammit IHOP why haven’t you come to Singapore yet?Report

  12. Rufus F. says:

    Usually when I’m driving to see my family, it is McDonald’s for breakfast and Wendy’s for lunch, until I get South of the Mason-Dixon, in which case all bets are off.Report

  13. RTod says:

    I have to say, I find the notion that someone in 2015 would notice McDonalds hamburgers aren’t the burger or choice for burger snobs and think both that this was somehow inciteful *and* a sign McDonalds can’t survive hilarious.Report

    • Will Truman in reply to RTod says:

      Their Angus burgers were good. Not just on a grading curve good, either.

      So of course they stopped making them.Report

      • Kolohe in reply to Will Truman says:

        It’s probably due to climate change. Seriously. The wholesale price of beef has nearly doubled over the past few years, mostly due to the persistent western drought, which made the sale of ‘premium’ burgers at McD’s prices uneconomical.Report

      • I figured it was just low sales,but I’ll buy that.

        What was unfortunate about it is that it didn’t just cost them the sales of those burgers, but it actually made McDonald’s viable for families and groups with different thresholds. My wife could get an Angus burger and I could get a quarter pounder and everyone was happy. Now we have to go somewhere else.Report

      • Kim in reply to Will Truman says:

        K,
        Ogallala running dry isn’t mostly because of climate change. It’s because of overuse for a full century now. Plus drought, but that area’s been dry since time immemorial. Not for nothing they called it The Great American Desert.Report