Sunday!

There are three WWF PPVs that are considered “the big ones”. Summerslam in August, WrestleMania in April, and, in January, The Royal Rumble.

By “big ones”, I mean “these are the PPVs that resolve storylines and provide the big blowoff matches.”

You’ve been watching this guy fight that guy for three (or six, or sixteen) months and THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE FIGHT THAT WILL SETTLE IT ALL. They have lumberjacks surround the ring to make sure that there’s no interference. They have special guest referees to make sure that there’s no interference. THEY PUT IT IN A STEEL CAGE.

And, sometimes, they even end the match cleanly with the babyface going over the heel just like you’d been wishing he would for the last three (or six, or sixteen) months. Sigh.

The Rumble ain’t like that.

The Royal Rumble is the one where they set up the big storylines that will be blown off at WrestleMania (or Summerslam). The big guy has been on top for a while and has been telling the challenger that he’ll fight him later. He’ll fight him later. Well, if the challenger wins at the Rumble, the Champ will *HAVE* to face him.

That’s one storyline. Others include the famous “temporary alliance between two rivals and the alliance remains strong”, “temporary alliance between two rivals and one of them stabs the other in the back”, the “Holy cow, how did that upper-midcarder get the gumption to take out that guy from the top of the card?” storyline, and the ever popular “OH I REMEMBER HIM!” nostalgia entry in the Rumble where a guy from the midcard back in the 90’s or early Oughts comes down, makes a symbolic elimination (as a sign of respect), before getting eliminated himself.

When everything goes right (and by that, I mean “when everything goes right for Summerslam, WrestleMania, and the Rumble”), the Rumble is my favorite PPV of the year.

So, tonight, the matches:

Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax Singles match
I love me some Sasha Banks. I’m giving this one to her.

Cesaro and Sheamus vs. Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson
Gallows and Anderson need the belts more than Cesaro and Sheamus do. Cesaro can get a pop just by showing up and waving. Sheamus… well. Sheamus is getting a bit of a rub from Cesaro. Gallows and Anderson, however, need belts to demonstrate that they’re dangerous. Cesaro and Sheamus wouldn’t really benefit form the belts.

Becky Lynch, Nikki Bella, and Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss, Mickie James, and Natalya Six-woman tag team match
I hate six man tags. The only role a six man tag has is in the last show before a PPV when you have the good guys from the top three matches on the card fight the bad guys from the top three matches on the card and you tease but do not deliver the guys in those matches fighting against each other. Then you end that match in a schmozz. Otherwise, six man tags are just awful. I can probably count the number of good six man tags on one hand and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a great one.

Rich Swann vs. Neville
Man, the cruiserweight thing has taken off! I love it! I don’t understand why they put it on Raw rather than Smackdown… but, hey. I’ll take it. My money’s on Neville.

Charlotte Flair vs. Bayley
Charlotte has to win via cheating against the babyfacest babyface I believe I’ve ever seen. It doesn’t even matter who wins, so long as it’s Charlotte and she doesn’t win clean.

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns
I still hate Roman Reigns and I still love Kevin Owens.
The office, however, hates me. They will put Reigns over and wonder why people are still booing.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena Singles match for the WWE Championship
Cena gets his win back.

2017 Royal Rumble match
For this one, I have no clue. I’m just looking forward to it. Which means that they’ll probably have Orton win it.
But I’d kinda like to see Wyatt or Sami Zayn win it.
The thing to look for is whether they give more eliminations to Braun, to Lesnar, or to Baron Corbin and to see who gets the coveted “survived the longest before getting eliminated” prize.

So… what are you reading and/or watching?


Staff Writer
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Jaybird is Birdmojo on Xbox Live and Jaybirdmojo on Playstation's network. He's been playing consoles since the Atari 2600 and it was Zork that taught him how to touch-type. If you've got a song for Wednesday, a commercial for Saturday, a recommendation for Tuesday, an essay for Monday, or, heck, just a handful a questions, fire off an email to AskJaybird-at-gmail.com

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22 thoughts on “Sunday!

  1. “Moana” might be the best kids movie ever. Not sure I can put my thoughts why into a coherent post but maybe I can rant later.

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    • is it a better kids movie, or a better adult movie that kids will like also? Its been so long since I saw a kids movie with a kid, I don’t know anymore and can only look at them through an adults eyes.

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      • Perhaps this is better framing: it is one of the best stories I’ve ever seen done in a medium for children. All the characters are deep and developed, a mixture of strengths and flaws (and sometimes strengths as flaws). Even the “baddie” isn’t really. It’s true storytelling with nuance.

        It isn’t perfect. Dragged a bit in the middle. It’s definitely not a “kids movie for adults”. A few subtle grown up jokes but nothing like the Shrek trilogy.

        Add in stunning visuals and quality music (largely in the hands of Lin Manuel Miranda) and you have a real treat.

        Then you can layer on top that all the on-screen characters are non-white and a trio of strong, female characters including a heroine who succeeds because of compassion more than anything… it’s really special.

        I liked it when I saw it. But it grew on me as I reflected more on it, in part because of repeated readings of the picture book and listening to the soundtrack with Mayo.

        You essentially have every character dealing with their past and trying to map their future.

        Oh! And a totally badass Fury Road scene!

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  2. Watching The Path on the Hulu, which is pretty good. Aaron Paul and Hugh Dancy are both very good. Reading Deceits of Time. by Isabel Colegate. About the unknowingness of other peoples lives.

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  3. OTOH, , I think Roman Reigns is severely underrated by the vast majority of Internet fans because he dared not spend umpteen years on the indies and is already a pretty great worker despite not doing enough MOVEZ and I’ll happily watch him beat a guy like Owens, who’s been booked like a midcard comedy geek since he won the title.

    As for the rest of the card, there are various Meltzer spoilers out there, so all I’ll say is that I hope some of the matches change, because it’ll be a waste of several guys.

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  4. I’m happy that Ripper Street Season 4 is on Netflix. Right now, I’m watching Versailles. Its a French/British drama on Louis XIV. Its an interesting example of historical drama done right. Louis XIV is the protagonist and somewhat sympathetic but the series doesn’t give him modern sensibilities. Louis XIV is an absolute monarch and acts like it.

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  5. Yesterday was a big family Tet celebration and then staying up until 4:30 local time to watch the five-set Australian Open final match between Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer. I’d argue that it was one of the most important matches in men’s tennis history, and it lived up to the hype. We were on our feet by the end of it.

    So today is a drinking coffee and cleaning the house day.

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  6. For this one, I have no clue. I’m just looking forward to it. Which means that they’ll probably have Orton win it.

    I really did not expect that one. I just hope they having something better planned than Cena vs Orton for the 100th time at Wrestlemania.

    Overall, it was an entertaining show, but I would not consider it particularly memorable. Also, I missed the match that I was looking for most of all, which was Styles vs Cena.

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