Sunday!

The 4th of July is on a Tuesday this year… which is like the worst day for it to be on… but that means that the weekend after the 4th will see the most recent reboot of Spider-Man. Personally, I think that Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 from the early oughts are the ones that will hold up over time but, apparently, this one is set in the Marvel Universe which means that we can see this guy fight alongside the Avengers. Again. Avengers 3: Infinity Gauntlet (PART ONE!) comes out next year and that movie will make more money than any movie in the history of the world. But before you see that one, you’ll need to see Spider-Man: The Re-Reboot.

War For The Planet Of The Apes is coming out and, I gotta say, nobody is more surprised than me that Planet of the Apes was not only remade as a movie (because of course it was) but remade as a *FRANCHISE*. Andy Serkis is a national treasure.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is running with the whole “what if we make a comic book movie using comic books from Japan France?” elevator pitch and I’m expecting the story to be strong (if a hair opaque) and the movie itself to crash and burn.

Atomic Blonde is the so-called “sister flick” to John Wick. Different characters, different setting, different universe, similar body counts. I could see myself seeing this.

The Emoji Movie. The prequel to The Emoji Movie 2 and The Emoji Movie 3.

The Dark Tower. We’re finally getting a movie based on The Dark Tower! Except it’s a sequel to the books and a prequel to the television series. It stars Idris Elba so don’t pretend that you’re not going to see it anyway.

The Hitman’s Bodyguard is an action comedy starring Samuel L Jackson and Ryan Reynolds. I imagine the sequel will be called something like “The Hitman’s Bodyguard’s Mother” or something. Starring Melissa McCarthy!

All in all, a crazy summer that isn’t even close to being as crazy as next year is destined to be.

So… what are you looking forward to the most?


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Jaybird is Birdmojo on Xbox Live and Jaybirdmojo on Playstation's network. He's been playing consoles since the Atari 2600 and it was Zork that taught him how to touch-type. If you've got a song for Wednesday, a commercial for Saturday, a recommendation for Tuesday, an essay for Monday, or, heck, just a handful a questions, fire off an email to AskJaybird-at-gmail.com

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12 thoughts on “Sunday!

  1. Just saw a movie this weekend called Colossal. It stars a very cute, Jessica Jones-looking Anne Hathaway as the protagonist with a problem: every time she has too much to drink in a small upstate New York town, a giant monster attacks Seoul. I enjoyed it and would see it again.

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  2. Melissa McCarthy… she cracks me up (in movies, never watched her on TV).

    But man, every movie *starring* Melissa McCarthy is turrible. Featuring Melissa McCarthy, great; starring, turrible; with, great; leading, turrible. Ensemble, success; Duo, fail.

    And I’m even giving Spy the benefit of the doubt; Identity Thief with Jason Bateman… I thought, how could that be bad? Whelp.

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  3. I want to see Snatched because I love Amy Schumer. Is she perfect? No, but I admire the way she balances comedy and not apologizing for standing up for her values. I think she talks about real issues that real women face, and supporting women is important to me.

    Junior wants to see Captain Underpants. I think he might like Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I’d really rather not see Despicable Me 3. I’m burned out on minions. But I would see Cars 3.

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  4. I’m really hoping that Valerian actually works in some Fifth Element references.

    **********

    Hey, Shared Cinematic Universe: John Wick, Jack Reacher, and Lorraine Broughton (Charlize Theron’s “Atomic Blonde” character) team up to figure out who killed Frank Moses. Robert McCall (Denzel Washington from “The Equalizer”) and Helen Mirren have supporting roles.

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  5. I’m really looking forward to this summer. Last year was sort of a fake-out with a lot of movies that sound good but were terrible. This year I think many will actually be good (except Transformers, which will certainly be bad and also make a lot of money). I do think Valerian will be a commercial disaster but get into Fifth Element territory as a sleeper hit with geeks like myself.

    I saw Lost City of Z last weekend, after having read the book last year. It’s not terribly uplifting, but does really shed light on early 20th century exploration in a way that really hasn’t been done well before. If you watch it, just think about all of that heavy material rubbing on body parts in a steamy South American jungle, and then try to explain why anyone thought it was fun.

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