Folks, I hold in my hands this morning’s Top Ten List! That’s right, this morning’s Top Ten List. Our Top Ten List for Wednesday, January 13, 2010 is: The Top Ten Reasons Stephen Harper Prorogued Parliament.
Did you hear about this?
It seems that the Prime Minister of Canada, Mr. Stephen Harper, has decided to shut down the Parliament of Canada on a moments notice and he’s, ah, he’s having some trouble explaining why to Canadians.
Is that true, Paul, that your Prime Minister — yikes, that sorta sounds like he could be an Autobot or something — so is it, is it true that your Prime Minister can just shut down Parliament if he feels like it?
“It is true, Dave!”
Right. You Canadians are a pretty goofy lot. He’s probably drunk on the maple syrup or something…
“Ha! We do love our maple syrup!”
Alright, so Prime Minister Harper has shut down government and he’s having trouble explaining why he’s decided to do so to Canadians. So he’s been trying out a few different explanations and we thought, you know, we thought we’d lend him a hand here. So, here you are: The Top Ten Reasons Stephen Harper Prorogued Parliament.
Number Ten: Canadians need to come together with the world for the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver and we want to put the full support of government behind our athletes. Plus, I promised my kids I’d get them one of those damned “Miga” dolls. What the hell is that thing supposed to be?
Number Nine: Acting in an anti-democratic fashion is routine. It’s just my thing, eh. But don’t worry, the hockey game is still on.
Number Eight: We needed to plan out this whole “second phase of our economic action plan”. New spending? No, there won’t be a dime of new spending, but Jim Flaherty’s gotta look like he’s doing something.
Number Seven: Two words: Senate appointments. These pesky Liberal senators keep f–king with my program by exercising their “constitutional responsibilities”.
Number Six: Average Canadians don’t care about the prorogation of Parliament (other than that clear majority of Canadians who oppose the decision).
Number Five: Did I mention there’s a hockey game on? Go Flames!
Number Four: All this “democracy” is screwing up our “markets”, you know?
Number Three: It’s just the Ottawa media elites who are driving this issue. You know, rabble-rousers like Peter Mansbridge, Lloyd Robertson, and Kevin Newman.
Number Two: Tom Flana-who?
And the number one reason Stephen Harper Prorogued Parliament: It’s got nothing to do with the Afghan detainee scandal!
*cue music
London conference venues 
Will Truman 
Patrick Cahalan 
Cornelius 
wardsmith 
Tod Kelly 
Tom Van Dyke 
Murali 
Borat: “I do a picture, only small, of the Tishnik Masacre. Where many Uzbeks…crushed!”
Kindly Gray Hippie: “How did you feel when you drew this?”
Borat: “Very proud!”.
KGH: “I’m just listening with sadness…a little sadness for your people…?”
Borat: “Yes…no, it is not sad. It is us who do the kill!”
When in doubt,
{ 12 comments }
Is it your argument that Mr. Harper and his cabinet have less respect for democracy than Canada’s appellate courts and ‘human rights’ tribunals?
That’s a pretty easy argument to make. Even so, he didn’t make anything remotely resembling that argument.
Really?
Yes, really.
The point of the post was to reflect on the day-to-day and week-to-week inconsistency of the explanations for prorogation provided by PM Harper and his fellow Conservatives, all of which have been wholly unpersuasive. I could have written a straight ahead post to that effect, but this seemed like a more creative way of expressing the thought.
Nicely done, Scott!
Honestly, he’s not even trying to sound plausible. One of the most consistently grating things about the Harper Conservatives is their constant demonstration of the belief that I (along with all other Canadians) am a blithering idiot.
I thought it was so he could spend more time blogging and chatting with his friends on facebook.
This is too funny.
So, um, who voted this jerk Prime Minister in the first place?
(BTW, I basically hold the position that people get the government they deserve — if they are too apathetic to stop a despot, a despot is what they’ll be stuck with.)
“So, um, who voted this jerk Prime Minister in the first place? ”
The good people of Calgary Southwest. The rest of us were just along for the ride.
Not all of us. – Scott H. Payne, resident of Calgary Southwest
Yeesh. How do you feel when you go to vote there?
Lonely.
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