The Market Value of Soiled Sheets

by Kyle Cupp on May 26, 2012

Post image for The Market Value of Soiled Sheets

True story: some months ago my wife purchased some bedding sheets from one of the nation’s largest off-price retail stores.  I won’t say which or give you a hint like “character on Friends“  because my interest here is not petty vengeance.

As the sheets weren’t immediately needed–she planned to use them as covers for some memory foam couch-cushions that she was making–the sheets hung around our place for few days.

When she finally opened the packaging, she was hit by an overwhelming stench of heavy perfume, but an even more disturbing discovery awaited her.  When she started to unfold them, she noticed the sheets had dried something or other caked on them.

Ignorant us, we thought that a mistake had been made and that the store had not knowingly sold us sheets with a crusty spot.  I learned otherwise when returning the item.  The manager refunded our money with no complaint, but he didn’t apologize.  Instead, he said the item had been marked down in price precisely because of the smell and the dried surprise.  When I said to the manager that I hoped he didn’t try to resell them, he simply responded, with forced pleasantness, “Have a nice day.” Lovely. What’s a little sanitation concern when there’s a profit to be made, eh?

What bothers me most about this minor but high-on-the-eww-factor unpleasantness isn’t the soiled sheets, but rather the clear indication from the manager that he, knowing the condition of the sheets and my theories about the makeup of the caked material, would see those sheets returned to the shelves.  Would I be wrong to speculate that this sort of incident happens regularly?  After all, if soiled sheets have a market value, then why not sell them, right?

I’m not especially knowledgeable about economic theory or policy–you’ll notice I don’t talk economics much–so take what I say next as a remark from one uniformed.   Way I see it, this incident illustrates that even a regulated market won’t be ordered toward the good without some basic moral decency among those acting in the market.  We’re not at a Hunger Games level of consumeristic debauchery, but when soiled sheets can be knowingly brought to the shelves of a major retailer, well, that’s a sign that more than sheets may be soiled.  Our economic culture itself may bear the stain of sin.

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Post image for “Snow White” Had Better Be the Fairest Film, Dammit

Permit me to echo io9′s causes for hope and causes for concern regarding the upcoming Snow White and the Huntsman.  Like them, I so desperately want it to prevail for its own sake and as a harbinger of more excellent dark fantasy to come.  I’ll add another way the movie may achieve cinematic excellence: symbolism.

If the trailers are any indication, director Rupert Sanders has fleshed out his fairy tale with lots of pregnant imagery: the camera looks to feature and linger on the images of the apple, crows, drops of blood, and of course the mirror.  Can I say enough how space awesome the extended mirror imagery looks to be?  I’m geeking out about the mirror on the wall flowing out of its frame, reminiscent of Terminator 2, and forming into a golden Nazgûl-figure.  I’m intrigued by the knights who, when struck, shatter into dark, reflective fragments.  And don’t get nerdy me started on the the monstrous, decimating flying shards!  Before long, you’ll be begging for sweet soul-sucked death by Charlize Theron.

I may not despair to quite that degree if the movie sucks, but, if it does, I am liable to walk despondently into a showing of Piranha 3DD and allow aesthetic nihilism to devour me.

Please be good, Snow White.  Pleeeeeaaaase!

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Paul Thomas Anderson Returns!

by Kyle Cupp on May 22, 2012

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No other filmmaker can hold a sacred candle to writer-director Paul Thomas Anderson when he directs his mind, heart, and camera to American religiosity.  Those who’ve seen Magnolia and There Will Be Blood can testify to this.

Muses be praised, Anderson has a new film on the horizon called The Master, staring the Philip Seymour Hoffman, Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams, and Laura Dern.

I hear it’s very loosely based on the founding and rise of Scientology, but this association has been downplayed.  In any case, it’s about the people involved in the founding of a new religion–”The Cause”–following World War II.

You can view the cryptic teaser here.

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I expect that my son will expand his vocabulary in kindergarten, but I was nonetheless momentarily dumbfounded when he came home one day, asked me to help him with a project, and informed me that I was to be his “resource.”  Can’t say I’d ever been called that before.

At least I’m in good company.  The other day while we were working together on building a Lego spaceship, I sent him on a search for an elusive piece, first showing him the type of block we needed more of.  He asked to have that Lego “as a resource.”  Hey, if I’m in the same category as Lego blocks, I call that a win.

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Shake It Out

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Vote Like a Baby

by Kyle Cupp on May 21, 2012

For reasons I’d rather not guess, the Texas Right to Life mailed us the above advertisement.  When you flip it over, you see it’s an endorsement of Scott Turner for the TX State House.  Babies like Scott, I suppose.  Upon seeing the front, my wife asked the obvious question: what baby are we talking about?

Obviously, the imperative “vote like a baby” is supposed to mean “vote pro-life,” and yet the ad itself, which features a child closer to a year of age instead of a baby in the womb, suggests a voting ethic that takes more into consideration than just abortion.  This cheerful, flag-waving baby has more at stake than not being killed.  Perhaps the election of Scott Turner isn’t in his interest.

Our little friend betrays the ethical complexity of voting.  The ad invites us to vote according to the baby’s interests rather than our own, but what are the interests of this baby?  Does he have adequate healthcare coverage?  Are his parents gainfully employed?  Are those ill-fitting jeans indicative of clothing needs?  How a baby would vote would depend on the needs of the individual baby, and not only needs, but wants.  A skilled candidate could capture the baby vote by promising universal access to household items parents don’t want damaged or destroyed by their curious offspring.  Actually, scratched out what I said before: were we to predict baby voting patterns, we’d want to look exclusively at wants.

Ethically speaking, voting is rarely simple and straightforward.  I have to balance my civic responsibilities to the common good with my personal responsibilities for those in my care.  While I have a greater responsibility for my children than for the children of others, voting is specifically a civic act for which I am ideally supposed to think of others and not just of my family and our own circumstances and needs.  And yet…  It sounds nice to say that I should always be altruistic when voting–it sounds nice, but it isn’t true.

So, yeah, vote like a baby. Whatever that ethically means to you.

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Revelations of Art

by Kyle Cupp on May 21, 2012

Evening Mood by William Bouguereau, one of my wife’s favorites.  We have a framed print of this painting hanging on the wall in our dining room. Guests learn immediately that ours is not a puritanical dwelling.

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Echoes on the Road

by Kyle Cupp on May 19, 2012

“Let us beware of that caricature of an economist who, watching people cheerfully disporting themselves in their suburban allotments, thinks he has said everything there is to say when he observes that this is not a rational way of producing vegetables–forgetting that it may be an eminently rational way of producing happiness, which alone matters in the last resort.”

- Wilhelm Roepke

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My Alma Mater, Making National News

by Kyle Cupp on May 18, 2012

Franciscan University of Steubenville is a small Catholic college not especially well known outside of a few niche Catholic circles, but its decision to drop student healthcare coverage, ostensibly in response to the HHS mandate and the PPACA, has made the national news.  And how! I haven’t seen the school receive this much press since…well…ever.  The Herald Star quotes Michael Hernon, VP of Advancement:

We feel the health care mandate from the Obama administration violates our religious conscience because it includes coverage for contraception, sterilization and abortion-causing medications as part of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. We also are concerned for our students and their families because the plan dramatically increases the cost of the health insurance for students. We don’t feel it’s fair to pass that cost on to our students.

As this school is my Alma Mater, I suppose I should say something.  I figure I owe it more than an eye roll, my customary response to its ventures into politics.

First, a little context.  Franciscan University takes pride in its reputation for orthodoxy and devotion to the magisterium, fancying itself a leading and valiant upholder of authentic Catholic culture.  If you were to call the typical student a dogmatic extremist, she’d take it as a compliment.  I was never quite the typical student there, but at the time I gleefully breathed in the atmosphere of antagonism: having the Truth and wielding it skillfully as a weapon against its enemies.   If we couldn’t save the world, we could at least be retainers of Real Catholicism.  As you may imagine, the university caters to the sort of Catholic who finds the world an evil place and desires a light in the darkness, a safe learning environment where there’s no risk of heterodoxy or heresy passing from a professor’s lips.  Strange that I fell to the dark side of philosophy there.

Anyhow, to survive in the market, the university needs to uphold this particular reputation.  I therefore suggest keeping this in mind when inquiring into the meaning of its public actions.  Kate Sheppard is right: the university will go a long way to make its stances clear.  It has a vision of itself to promote, and there’s nothing like free publicity.  No doubt the school administrators are very pleased with the news coverage.  They may be trendsetters.  And be assured that this principled stance plays very well with the school’s prospective customers.

But is this a principled stance?  Noticeably, the university has not done away with health insurance coverage to its administration or faculty, even though these would, by their reckoning, also fall prey to the mandated offenses.  The Herald Star touches on this:

Hernon said the university has not taken action on employee health care, “because we believe cooler heads will eventually prevail. We believe legislative action and other options will allow us to provide health care to our employees in a sound moral environment.”

But not to the students?   Color me skeptical.  If you can wait on dropping the faculty’s coverage, then why not also wait before dropping the student coverage?  The alleged additional costs, we’re told, but, if so, then this particular decision was made for economic reasons rather than because keeping the student coverage would be a violation of conscience.  Not exactly consistent with the university’s stated reasoning, is it?  If the employee and student coverages differ in a way that’s relevant here, then the school spokespeople should say so clearly.  They haven’t, though.  Instead, they’ve given the impression that dropping student coverage now, before the law is set in stone, is a moral necessity.  That doesn’t seem to be true.

So what’s going on here?

If you’re wondering, the staff and faculty of Franciscan University are sincerely devoted to upholding and promoting the Catholic faith, at least in so far as they understand it.  Their overall religiosity is much too tied to right wing politics for my liking–as illustrated by their dismissal of board member Nicholas P. Cafardi’s after his endorsement of Barack Obama and by their inviting a known supporter of torture techniques to give the commencement address–but I do not question their hearts.  If push comes to shove, you can bet the university will also drop employee healthcare coverage.

Right now, however, there is a reputation to promote, and being the first Catholic institution to drop coverage, if only in part, has its promotional advantages.

And here I am, doing my little part like a reliable alumnus.

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Vote Well or Go to Hell

by Kyle Cupp on May 16, 2012

I don’t have a TV and I seldom listen to the radio, so I’m spared the unseemly barrage of political advertisements that most Americans must suffer.  Alas, I cannot evade all the campaign season’s obnoxiousness.

I hang out in circles where it’s not uncommon to hear guidance on voting given with all the gentle prodding of a Grand Inquisitor.  Acquaintances, friends, and busybodies tell me, in no uncertain terms, that my religious faith requires me, in practice, to support whatever corrupt empty-suit the Godly Old Party selects because of a handful of non-negotiable issues that have in no way been prioritized for politically partisan reasons by Heaven’s white-robed gate keepers.

No thank you.

My faith can do without subservient allegiance to the power games of any party.  I’ll vote my conscience, thank you.  Take the ol’ prudential judgment out for a drive.  Take my best guess at which would-be leaders will act on the issues that are important to me in well-articulated ways I think may have a shot at working.

In the meantime, I’ll do my darndest to tune out the sanctimonious noise, with the caveat that I may, if in the mood, take unwholesome, snarky pleasure from unintentionally comical political ads like the following.

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