The Other Side of Midnight

Will Truman

Will Truman is the Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. He is also on Twitter.

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22 Responses

  1. North says:

    Powerful stuff Will, thank you for sharing it.Report

  2. Burt Likko says:

    If this were me I would have been reticent to share it, especially so soon. I admire the bravery it took to hit “publish.”Report

  3. Chris says:

    Thank you for sharing this.Report

  4. Michael Drew says:

    Hard stuff, Will. My thoughts are with you all.Report

  5. Jaybird says:

    I wish the world were not this way.Report

  6. LeeEsq says:

    This was beautifully written even though it was about very sorrowful occurrence.Report

  7. Francis says:

    My deepest condolences.Report

  8. Tod Kelly says:



    My thoughts and prayers with you both, Will. But in addition to that, there is this: I think this might be the best thing written on this site, ever.


  9. Saul Degraw says:

    Really strong and emotional writing.Report

  10. Will Truman says:

    Thanks, all. I didn’t actually write this with the intent of publishing it. Figuring, if nothing else, Clancy wouldn’t want me to (and I absolutely wouldn’t have without her signing off on it). I wrote some of it as things were unfolding, because putting an event in the prism of a story can help me deal with stuff. But when I mentioned to Clancy, she was supportive.

    Also, a special thanks to Maribou, who took the time to do some editing work on it.Report

  11. So sorry, Will. Take care of each other.Report

  12. Miss Mary says:

    I am so sorry. Big hugs.Report

  13. greginak says:

    Thanks for sharing Will. My condolences for your loss.Report

  14. zic says:

    One of the best, saddest, and most human things I’ve ever read.

    Thank you, @will-truman for writing this.

    I need to go weep for you and, most particularly, for Clancy.Report

  15. Oscar Gordon says:

    I’ve been there, @will-truman , it sucks.

    Before Bug, there was Bjorn. He was a tough little embryo, the result of our first go at IVF. He would have become Bjorn the Baby, instead of Bjorn the Blastocyst, except he picked the wrong spot to implant. Fallopian tubes can accept an implantation, but they can’t carry it to term (some piss poor intelligent design there, I tell you).

    Methotrexate is some nasty stuff, a chemotherapy drug. Usually, it will quickly kill a young embryo, and trigger a miscarriage. Bjorn weathered two doses of it & still was going strong. A few hours of urgent surgery later and he was gone, as were both tubes (and we had a reason why she wasn’t getting pregnant the old fashioned way – turns out endometriosis can destroy fallopian tubes).

    We grieved his loss. We still have his picture, a little egg with eight cells floating against a blue background.Report

  16. Anne says:

    @will-truman you and Clancy are in my thoughts. Thank you for your and Clancy’s courage to publish. It will help more people than you know and I pray help you both as wellReport

  17. I’m really sorry to hear about this, but please accept my condolences.Report

  18. Road Scholar says:

    A most moving essay. Thank you for sharing it. And you and Clancy have my sympathies.Report

  19. DensityDuck says:

    I always used to think that Hemingway story was really sad (challenged to tell a complete tale in six words, he thought for a moment and said “for sale, baby clothes, never worn”) and was glad that it wouldn’t ever happen to me. And then, well, it did.Report

  20. Glyph says:

    I’ve been avoiding reading this, because I kind of grokked what it was about from a glance when it first went up. I just read it and am sitting here with tears in my eyes. Will, I’m so sorry. Take care of your family.

    And this is wonderfully-written and presented, as odd as giving compliments on that feels, given the personal nature of the topic.Report

  21. ktward says:

    When my son, my firstborn, was but a babe, I went to the wake and funeral of one of my employees. Heather. She was a darling girl who I hired, years before, in high school. I happily hired her back every summer and holiday after she went to college. She was a such a joy. I sort of knew her parents.

    One tragic party night, Heather and three of her college friends took a ride in a convertible in bad weather, and there was an accident. I think they all died, but I could be wrong about that. I only remember that Heather died. I went to her wake and her funeral. I wept hard with her mother. Eventually, I said something like, “I could not imagine losing my baby. It would surely kill me.” Heather’s mom said to me something I have never forgotten. She said, “Imagine loving and nurturing your baby for 18 years. Watching your baby grow and flourish into a child and then an adult. Which is worse? Having them ripped apart from you as a baby? Or after you’ve loved them so deeply for so long?”

    I agonized over what she said. But because my own baby boy was barely a year old, I had to file it away under Truths I Cannot Face. Eventually, many years later, I came to grips with the thought that there is no point, on the parenting continuum, where the death of one’s child isn’t debilitating.

    With enough support, we’re hopefully able to move on.
    I don’t know you, Will, but you have my deepest sympathies.Report